Trashed Again

You made it through another year. Well done.

And let’s face it: it was tough, particularly towards the end. You had to survive not only the Christmas cavalcade of visitors, gifts and meals, but also New Year’s Eve. But you got through it all, although you’ve vowed once again to give up alcohol. (You now consider it one of your ‘traditions’.)

Unfortunately it now means you’ve got one hell of a mess to clean up. And that’s after you wake up everyone in your lounge room and tell them to go home.

First there’s the wrapping paper and packaging left behind from all those presents. The wrapping paper you can handle, but the packaging almost feels like a conspiracy. The boxes are huge, but when you open them you realise it’s 90% Styrofoam. (The manufacturers got the idea after opening a packet of chips that was 90% air.)

Then there’s the leftover food that, despite having leftovers three nights in a row, still hasn’t disappeared. Even the dog takes one look and walks away thinking, “No thanks. I’d rather eat grass”.

Then there’s the evidence of what was supposed to be a quiet New Year’s Eve celebration. You’ve probably got enough bottles, cans and wine bladders for an Arts graduate to create an award-winning sculpture. Well, maybe when the yard stops spinning.

And like any other New Year’s Eve party, you probably have the odd piece of garden furniture that didn’t quite make it through the night. (We won’t mention the clothesline leaning at a weird angle, as if you’re trying to pick up radio transmissions from outer space.)

Fortunately Brizzy Rubbish Removals can help. They can collect all your rubbish and take it away for you. (Unfortunately you’ll have to deal with the guy sleeping on your couch on your own.) And the only time you’ll need to lift a finger is to block your ears when the bottles start clinking together.

Which is good, because the way your head is at the moment, the less you have to move the better.