A moving experience

It’s been a great year. Despite the GFC (or was it the KFC?), your business has gone from strength to strength. In fact things are going so well you had to hire more staff.
Unfortunately, while your business is growing, your building isn’t. You tried everything, including “hot desking” (i.e. stealing some from the offices next door). But no matter what you did, your staff still wound up sitting so close together they could actually communicating face-to-face instead of by email.
So now it’s time to find new accommodation for you and your team. But that shouldn’t be too hard, right? Find a place big enough to fit everyone, get everything moved over and set up, and your staff will be rearing to start work the next day, right?
Of course not.
Your first problem will be choosing the right location. You see, what’s right for one person won’t be right for another because it’s half a block further away from the train station. (Ironically, the same person will demand it be close to a gymnasium.) Or they’ll have to walk halfway across town for their favourite coffee. Or the building faces the wrong way and the whole Feng Shui of the place is wrong.
(This is why so many companies let their employees telecommute. It’s a lot easier to set up an IT network than to hire a hitman.)
When you eventually find a place everyone is okay with (allow three months and half a dozen lawsuits), you face the next challenge: seating arrangements. Some people will think it’s the ideal opportunity to shuffle people around a bit, while others will say something like “over my dead body” (another job for the hitman, I guess).
And of course everyone wants a window seat, which makes you think you should forget all about office buildings and start looking at greenhouses.
Then there’s the drama of getting everything moved to your new offices. Oh, don’t worry. Getting it all over there is easy. It’s the squabbling over whose mouse is whose (despite them all being exactly the same) that will make you wonder if hitmen offer any sort of discount. It would have been easier to sell everything on eBay and start again.
So as you can imagine, the last thing you’ll want to do is go back to your old office and start cleaning up/throwing things out.
That’s where we come in. We can get rid of your old equipment, furniture, and anything else you left behind (such as the fridge that’s developed its own ecosystem and is in rapidly becoming a biohazard).
Let us take care of the rubbish so you can focus on more important things. Like telling your staff about the latest person you’ve hired.
And why he’s wearing dark glasses and carrying a sniper rifle.