All Fired Up

It looks like Brisbane has skipped spring completely and gone straight into summer. (Don’t panic. I’m talking only about the weather. The footy finals are still on, okay?) That means the bushfire season has started early. And believe me, this is one game you don’t want anything to do with.
So it’s time to prepare for the months ahead by making sure your home is as safe from bushfires as you can make it. And before you say “But my house is in a safe area”, remember that some of the bushfires Victoria experienced in 2009 travelled at up to 100km/h. Still think you’re safe? Some people can’t even drive that fast—especially on the highway.
It’s time to get to work.
If you’ve got trees in your backyard you’ve been meaning to trim, now’s the time. Grab your chainsaw/bushman’s saw/Ginsu steak knife and go to work. But please, no re-enacting scenes from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, okay? The only limbs we want removed are those from the trees.
Next, grab a ladder and clear out the roof gutters. Yes, you may have to buy one if you can’t beg, borrow or steal one from the neighbours. But chances are you’ll recoup most of your money selling the tennis balls, toy planes and Frisbees you find up there back to the kids next door.
What about those “storage areas” such as the garage and under the house? Chances are they’ve become a dumping zone for cardboard boxes, old paint tins and anything else you don’t use but can’t throw away “just in case”. Sorry, but it’s time to use ‘em or lose ‘em. Get rid of the paint tins (it’s a lot easier than painting), and unpack the boxes you’ve had in there for the past five years. (You could even gather the family for a bit of reminiscing as you open each one. “And this was my very first… Gaaaaa! A spider!”)
Okay, you’ve trimmed the trees, cleaned out the gutters, unpacked the boxes and even become a volunteer for the Spider Relocation Program. Now what? You don’t own a trailer. And there’s no way you can borrow one from the neighbour since you stole his ladder.
That’s where we come in.
Brizzy Rubbish Removals can get rid of all those dead branches, piles of leaves, cardboard boxes and old paint tins. (We’ll leave the spiders for you to sort out.) You won’t have to lift a finger—except maybe to change channels with your remote.
Your yard will look great, the rain might actually go down the drainpipes for once, and you’ll have all that memorabilia to get embarrassed about. (Honestly, what were you thinking when you bought that suit?)
And now that your place is ready, how about helping some of your neighbours get their houses ready as well? After all, you’ve already got a saw and a ladder.
And I’m sure there are plenty more toys on their roof you can sell.